Baby joy for mother with no womb- thanks to loving family

A WOMAN born without a womb has become a mum thanks to her sister offering to be a surrogate and her parents paying for IVF treatment.

Faye Richards, 31, from Hereford, was born with a condition called Mayer Rokitansky Küster Hauser syndrome which meant she could never carry a child.

As her husband Tony, 41, a decorator, had three children from a previous relationship the couple knew they would have to pay thousands for private IVF and surrogacy expenses to become parents together.

Faye’s younger sister Kim Thomas, 28, stepped up as an IVF surrogate – and her parents Dave, 66, a plasterer, and June, 58, a nurse, offered to foot the £22,000 bill for private treatment.

Faye said: “Kim and I were always close, but when she offered to be my surrogate I was staggered.

“It was the most generous offer she could have made, when my parents gave us the funds to make it happen our dream of being parents was finally within reach.”

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Kim, a health care assistant who is mum to six-year-old Harry, added: “Being a mum was so important to Faye I knew I’d do anything to make it happen. I know she would have done the same for me.”

After two unsuccessful rounds of IVF with Faye’s eggs and Tony’s sperm, Kim – who is engaged to partner Jason Baginski – fell pregnant on her third attempt. Baby Ralphie was born in May.

Faye, who works in mental health, added: “Every time I look at my son I feel so lucky my family helped me have him.

“When Ralphie’s older I’ll tell him that we wanted him so much his Auntie Kim and Grandma and Grandpa stepped in to make it happen.”

Faye was diagnosed with MRKH and polycystic ovaries at Hereford County Hospital aged 19 when her periods still hadn’t started.

She said: “Put simply, I was born without a womb. I have ovaries and produce eggs, but have no Fallopian tubes or uterus so will never carry a child.

“It was devastating. Even as a teenager I knew I wanted to be a mum someday.”

In January 2011, Faye started dating dad of three, Tony. They discussed having children together through an IVF surrogate – meaning Faye’s eggs would be fertilised by Tony’s sperm and implanted in a surrogate womb.

But in December 2012 they were refused IVF surrogacy on the NHS as Tony was already a dad.

Faye said: “We knew private surrogacy would cost thousands in expenses on top of the £6,000 quoted per round of IVF. There was no way we could afford it.”

That month the couple got engaged and Faye asked her sister to be her bridesmaid. Then in June 2013 Kim made the huge decision to offer her womb as a surrogate for her sister.

What’s more, June and Dave offered to lend Tony and Faye money to pay for IVF.

June said: “We used our savings but there was nothing more we wanted to spend that money on.

“Tony promised to pay back every penny, but we told him we’re in no rush to see that money.

“It was our first present to our grandchild.”

Now, Kim and Jason plan to get married next year, and Faye said she can’t wait to attend the ceremony with her husband and son.

Kim said: “Faye kept asking how I was feeling. I told her I felt like I’d just carried my nephew so my sister could be a mum.”

Read Original Article Here: https://www.herefordtimes.com/news/local/14760516.Baby_joy_for_mother_with_no_womb__thanks_to_loving_family/?commentSort=score

I loved being the mom of young kids, but I’m not sad they’re growing up

New parenthood is special, but its also tough. When that uninterrupted bathroom break finally comes, you should celebrate

It was a bedraggled summer afternoon more than a decade ago. I was strolling down the street with my two young daughters. Lucy, the preschooler, was whirling around ahead of me, seemingly determined to fall on her face, while Beatrice, the baby, was squirming and giving me back strain in the baby carrier.

I had not experienced a solid five hours of sleep in months. I had mastitis, so I was wearing cabbage leaves in my bra. Because I lived in a beautiful, gentrifying neighborhood that was still populated with a sprinkling of wise old-timers, I daily had some stranger approach me and sagely advise, Enjoy it now. It goes by so fast.

But on this day, as I nodded gently in fake gratitude to the tip, I made a promise to myself. Ill try to enjoy it, I thought. And I will never, ever say that to another parent. I will remember that it doesnt go by so fast when youve been up since 4:30. I will remember that not all of this is very enjoyable at all.

Now, that daredevil preschooler is a 16-year-old high school junior with a packed social schedule. The baby who kept me up nights is a middle schooler who could, if eye-rolling were an Olympic event, be a gold medalist. Sometimes I look at them and wistfully realize that they will never again fall asleep in my lap as I read them Goodnight Moon. I will never hear them hilariously mispronounce elevator or ambulance. I will not push them on swings, or feed them applesauce as we watch Sesame Street together. That door is closed.

I feel remarkably OK about that.

Exhausted, overwhelmed parents of young children, let me assure you that, yes, this time in your childrens lives is precious and beautiful and intimate and full of magic and discovery. But no, you do not need anybody to chide you into appreciating it. Im sure you already do. Im also sure you sometimes cant even imagine a barefoot walk across the living room floor that doesnt end in a Lego-related howl of pain. Im sure the last five movies you saw involved talking animals. Im sure the idea of a trip to the bathroom for yourself with nobody banging on the other side of the door sounds like a vacation in a four star hotel.

Well guess what? That uninterrupted bathroom break will come. And it wont be sad. Itll be awesome.

Recently, a friend came in from out of town for business, and do you know what we did? We met up for drinks. At 4pm. My purse has zero Cheerio dust in it. I havent heard the Kidz Bop version of a contemporary pop song in a good three years. Sometimes, on the weekend, I sleep past 8am.

It helps very much that I happen to think my daughters have grown up to be pretty great people. They dont need me to tie their shoes, but they can make dinner. They dont make me pipe cleaner art, but they can talk about politics and movies and books theyve read. They are interesting, engaged young women I like as individuals as much as I love them as my flesh and blood. That cuddly puppy phase of their lives was uniquely sweet, but seeing smart, independent young people launching into the world? Thats sweet too.

I think when people get inordinately nostalgic for their childrens youths, theyre really being nostalgic for their own. Id be lying if I said I didnt miss that young mom version of myself, the one with fewer lines on her face and flawless eyesight. I know that I associate my girls babyhood with a period of my own life, before a marital crisis and two bouts of cancer and the death of my best friend.

But I also remember how grateful I was when a friends parent lovingly told me, when my kids were little: These are hard years. So I try to hang on to the truth of that time, of what it was like when I couldnt just take a shower when I wanted, when an end-of-the-day tantrum could mean a child lying prone in the middle of the supermarket, making a spectacular scene. Sometimes when I see another parent whose kid is losing it in public, I just want to go over and reassure: It gets better.

There are so many joys of having older children, and of being older oneself. Believe it. Dont let anybody arrogantly make you feel like youre not stopping to smell the roses enough when youve spent your day wiping noses instead. Im here from your future, to tell you that it hasnt gone by too fast. It hasnt gone by at all. The story is still being told. And every chapter holds its own wonders.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/aug/20/parenthood-mother-young-children-grow-embrace-next-stage

Women who obtain baby through surrogacy entitled to maternity leave

In a welcome move, Bombay High Court recently directed maternity leave to be granted to a woman who had attained motherhood through surrogacy.

The Bench, comprising Justice Anoop V. Mohta and Justice G.S. Kulkarni observed, “Having considered even Rule 551 (C) and (E) of Child Adoption Leave and Rules, we find that a case is made out for grant of interim relief in terms of prayer clause (b) as there is nothing in rule 551 (C) and (E) as referred above, which would disentitle maternity leave to a women who has attained motherhood through surrogacy procedure.”

Accordingly, the Court directed the Central Railway to grant 180 days maternity leave to its woman employee.

The petitioner had given birth to twins through the procedure of surrogacy and thereafter applied for Maternity Leave relying on Rule 551(C) of the Indian Railway Establishment Board. The application was however rejected on the ground that the petitioner, before entering into an agreement of surrogacy, did not take permission of the Railway Board.

The Counsel for the petitioner, Sandeep Shinde and Tanya Goswami had brought to the notice of the Court a Division Bench judgment of Nagpur Bench of Bombay High Court in the case of Dr. Mrs. Hema Vijay Menon v. State of Maharashtra & Ors.,Writ Petition No.3288 of 2015, where it was specifically observed, “A woman cannot be discriminated, as far as maternity benefits are concerned, only on the ground that she has obtained the baby through surrogacy. Though the petitioner did not give birth to the child, the child was placed in the secured hands of the petitioner as soon as it was born. A newly born child cannot be left at the mercy of others.

A maternity leave to the commissioning mother like the petitioner would be necessary. A newly born child needs rearing and that is the most crucial period during which the child requires the care and attention of his mother. There is a tremendous amount of learning that takes place in the first year of the baby’s life, the baby learns a lot too. Also, the bond of affection has to be developed. A mother, as already stated hereinabove, would include a commissioning mother or a mother securing a child through surrogacy. Any other interpretation would result in frustrating the object of providing maternity leave to a mother, who has begotten the child.”

Agreeing with the Petitioner, the Court granted the relief and posted the matter for disposal on March 11.

Last year, Kerala High Court had delivered a similar ruling, observing that women employees cannot be discriminated against for maternity benefits, solely on the ground that they obtained the baby through surrogacy. Justice Dama Seshadri Naidu had considered the dichotomy of maternity- pre and post natal. He had upheld the proposition, and observed, “From day one after the delivery, the petitioner is required to be treated as the mother with a newborn baby. Thus, without discriminating, it can be held that the petitioner is entitled to all the benefits that accrue to an employee after the delivery, as have been provided under the Act or the Staff Rules. Nothing more; nothing less, for the petitioner cannot compel the employer to place her on a higher pedestal than a natural mother could have been placed, after undergoing the pregnancy.”
Read more at: https://www.livelaw.in/women-who-obtain-baby-through-surrogacy-entitled-to-maternity-leave-bombay-hc-read-order/

7-Year-Old Jumps To Action When He Sees A Toddler Facedown In A Pool

All parents know that it’s extremely important to keep an eye on your kids at all times, but this doesn’t stop accidents from happening, on more than one occasion. Even the most vigilant parents have seen it happen: the one time you turn around for a minute or so, your child slips out of sight.

That’s what happened to the parents of one 2-year-old, who had no idea that their child had slipped away. The toddler somehow found a way to squeeze through the bars of the gate to a community pool.

He then fell into the water and, not knowing how to swim, found himself splashing, struggling to stay afloat.

Seven-year-old Cesar was walking past the pool, on his way to play video games at his cousin’s house, when he saw splashing and waving arms in the pool. He saw the toddler facedown in the water, and quickly moved to pull him out, thinking that he was going to die.

Though the baby was heavy for Cesar to carry out, he is the reason why the parents of the 2-year-old can breathe a sigh of relief!

Cesar then found an adult, who was able to call first responders, who were able to treat and attend to the child.

Heis thankfully expected to make a full recovery.

Read more: https://www.littlethings.com/7-year-old-saves-toddler-drowning/